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Mullet Pic Fix

pg. 8

 
Overweight Tecky Mull
Rarely seen in public, the Overweight Tecky Mull hibernates in his cluttered office (which extends into his bedroom and kitchen) Claiming to be working on something 'really important', we know he's actually checkin' out dodgy fetish porn sites and plotting to stalk lame actresses and pop singers (Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears, etc...). He won't retire from this exhausting routine until the bottom of his Mountain Dew Big Gulp has run dry and he's gotta run down to 7-11 to stock up on more Chocodiles to munch on. Chocodiles and Big Gulps are essential to the survival of such a finely tuned machine.
hunted by Marc  

 


hunted in the Czech Republic
Euro Mullet
 
hunted by Danny B in germany.

Though still alive and popular in many European countries, the large number of mullets found in the Czech Republic and Germany is still a bizarre mystery. The land where french fries are eaten with mayonnaise and David Hasselhoff is a worshipped rock star might have something to do with it...but I really don't know.

Because of the Euro's keen eye for fashion, the mullet gives off a sense of distinguished rebellion. But don't be fooled--a mullet is a mullet, wherever you're from.

hunted by eric in Finland

 

Janitor Mullet

There are many Janitor Mullets out there lurking in cubicles near you. However this particular one hunted in Pittsburgh comes with many bonuses: The gapped buck tooth nestled under the thick mullestache. The old lady gradient-purple-fade-to-clear sunglasses. Plenty of fake gold chains, typically made from tungsten with a gold plating. And finally the rolled sleeve unveils his masterpiece tattoos. His favorite football team and a dragon. 2 tattoos that everyone should have, really. If you don't want a dragon, get a dagger with a snake wrapped around it. It'll make you really hard.

While this particular specimen of janitor mullet was found in Pittsburgh, be assured that others may be found in office cleaning positions from New York to Los Angeles. Having a mullet may even be a prerequisite for some janitor and cleaning service gigs.

 

Mullet Cubicle Dweller - A real funny guy.

Within the corporate environment, the mullet will try, but will never reach higher than having his own cubicle (at best). Yes, they might show strong signs of progression. Yes, they'll even adopt favorite coffee mugs and sport really bad golf shirts around the office (only on Casual Friday, of course). But unfortunately, a woodgrain gold plaque in an enclosed space of their own will not be a reality.

* If a digital Casio 80's-style watch with cheap interchangeable velcro watch bands isn't good enough for the resume, then secretly picking your nose in the cubicle should be.

KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE MULLET

* Mullestache, of course.

hunted by Fernando

 

Mullet Rogue

Seen here scanning either a racing form or a course selection manual for the local technical school, the Mullet Rouge has a special "grab life by the short and curlies" attitude that drives him to take advantage of (or at least read about) any and all potential opportunities. However, his zest is not without consequence. Notice the character in the upper-right of the picture who seems to be trying to set fire to the Mullet Rouge's flowing maroon-ish mane, probably out of jealousy. Whether supplementing his budget with "scratcher" tickets from the local gas station or pickin' the right dogs at the track, the Mullet Rouge has a motivation unmatched among his greater mullet phylum, and the luster of his spirit is only matched by the glow of his fiery 'do reflecting the "photo finish" sign on a cold, vinyl-jacket-mandatory Thursday night.

 

-Written by Sam Hopkins.

 

Redneck Mullet Brothers

 

2 unique intellectuals. Confident, prominent, elite members of society that are intangible. You don't want to play a game of chess or have a debate about economic implications of globalization on the world's economy with them.

* The Black shirt containing a wolf and the word Survivor... Profound.

* The Gold chain & white tank-top combo is equally nice.

hunted by Jon Hokanson

 

Hesher Mullet

 

Activities of the Hesher Mullet include smoking and selling "grass", listening to heavy metal music, playing GALAGA at the local Quick-Mart (all day), being mean to neighbor kids and younger siblings, sniffing glue, torturing animals and cheating (on anything). Basically, an outstanding citizen.

Though in its infant stages, this mullet has serious potential. With excellent contrast of hair on top to back, a menacing aura, and a dedicated attitude, this mullet could look pretty schweet in a year or so.

* There is NO such thing as a Hesher Mullet without a Mullestache.

 

Amullteur Porn-Master of Seduction

Girl: "Take me mullet"

Mullet: "OK, but let me blindfold you first"

Girl: "You kinky thing! Whatever you say, I am putty in your arms."

Mullet: "Just lay back and relax, I will seduce you. The tips of my curled mullet will lightly graze across your tattooed/tracked body. You will dig your nails deep into my shoulders. You will scream. You will be mine."

Girl: "Well, don't just stand there..."

*5 minutes later*

 

 

Girl: "Was that it?"

 

 

*When he's not seducing graveyard shift employees from 7-11, his classification changes to the "Crystal Methullet" (see Pic Fix 6).

* Mullestache riding.

 

Pork Mullet

 

Quite simply, this is a mullet that LOVES to eat. It grinds on everything it can get its hands on. Pork chops are his preference, but nothing is gonna stop his eternal quest for consumption.

* Notice how the Mullestache blends in with the first crease of the triple chin. Nice.

* You are what you eat. Mullet.

hunted by Jeff
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