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Mullet Pic Fix

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Mullanonymous

 

At first glance, the words "engineer" or "math teacher" may come to mind. However, don't be too hasty when assesing the "Mullanonymous"... this chameleon has the power to blend in and adapt to many social groups. Even though I can not truly pinpoint or narrow this "master of disguise" down to one category, manifestos and biological/chemical warfare come to mind.

 
   

Pimpley-ass Whale Mullet

 

The Pimpley-Ass Whale Mullet comes from the same family as the blue whale and humback whale, but the migratory patterns are quite different. This species occasionally surfaces from the depths of our oceans and attempts to blend in with humans. You see, they have primal needs that can't be met in the deep sea environment below. Some of these needs include (but are not limited to): Eating as much greasy fast food as possible, assaulting us with butt crack smell in random places like elevators, driving around in really small cars, staring at children causing them to cry or have nightmares, and finally, appearing as guests on bad American talk shows (i.e. Jerry Springer) where they discuss pathetic subject matter such as "My wife likes me to bark like a dog".

Before entering back into the ocean, the Pimpley-Ass Whale Mullet likes to pop their zits on the sand in hopes of attracting a mate b4 they return to sea.

* As you can see, the Mullestache is present. (And sexy as ever)

 

Duranullet Duranullet

Trade School Mullet

..."Wild Boys! Never lose iiiit...Wild Boys! Never chose this waaay...Wild Boys! Never close your eyes.. WILD BOYS Alwaaays,... SHINE!!!!!"...

Atleast to the Duranullet Duranullet.

Graduated in '89, sold parts at Kragen until he became Store Manager. When he decided he "wanted more from life", he took out a $40,000 loan and enrolled at the DEVRY Institute of Technology. He will soon have that high-tech job he has always yearned for.

* Reach... for.... the.. skyyyyy, at Devryyyyy!

 

No Fear/Bad Boy Club Mullet

 

A large and powerful group is the NO FEAR and/or the BAD BOY sticker club. I've often felt extremely intimidated when slowly rolling to a stop at a red light next to one of these guys. Especially behind the wheel of my shitty car. You only have a split second if you want to catch a glimpse of this species. Like the Monster Truck Mullet and the Muscle Car Mullet, this species is very aggressive and volitile. I caution: Do not hunt one. They take their car, their stickers and their mullet very seriously.

* Thank god this sticker club is dying out, but I fear the new generation of Korn, Limp Biskit and Kid Rock-erz could be replacing them.

 

* Mullestache, of course.

 

Nickslotullet

 

Mesmerized by the nickel slot machines. Tanked on free drinks. He blurts out, "Thanks doll", while slightly spilling the second drink on his grotesque lower growth. He pretends to rummage for a tip, knowing full well that if he continues this fumbling charade, the frustrated waitress will leave (as they have countless times b4).

 

Flock of Seamulls
Fashullet

 

This is one of the most unique mullets I have ever seen. The mullet actually comes to a sharp point which is used as defense and/or fashion. If you truly stare long, deep and hard enough into this perfectly articulated and sculpted mullet, it WILL stare back at you!

From the days when Quicksilver, Gotcha and SideOut-sport/surf/volleyball wear dominated the malls and the streets; this fashion czar surfarces. The hard plastic visor adds that little "extra something" that compliments the moussed Permullet. In turn this apedrapes nicely over the "subtle" neon pink collar. Often times the ability to accessorize escapes the mulleted, but not our carefully manicured ladykiller.

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