Mullet- Honey, look there's a guy drawing people, should I have him draw me?

Wife of Mullet- Sure, see if he can really capture the essence of your mullet meeting you're shoulder/back hair.

Mullet- O.K.!, golly, I sure am glad I wore my tank top!

Wife of Mullet- . You know, If this Drawing comes out good we can hang it over the mantle next to the singing fish.

Since the patriotisom is insanely prevalent at the moment, it seems appropriate that the mull should be represented. In general, mulls are, instictively patriotic. To find a mull wearing the stars and stripes somewhere on his body is not uncomon. What makes this mull 'special' is that gay, over-priced sweater...It's symbolic of the way this particular species eats up all the current trends(flags attatched to the windows of cars)and media cliche's like, 'United we stand'.

* I've been wanting to make a t-shirt of a brain with the word 'sculptable' in it. Anyways...this guy is EXACTLY what i think of when i had that design in mind.

"I hate my job but i keep truckin' on man. One day I wanna own my own Harley shop that would be so killer huh? Don't get me wrong' K-Marts not that bad, but the people sometimes piss me off. You know, after i check 'em out i'll say thanks for shopping at Kmart and they reply with silence and a grumpy stare. Turds. Another thing lately, its wierd man, these random people keep coming up and taking pictures of me...I dont get it."

Sloppy Mullet

A general lack of caring concerning looks/hygiene can lead to a sloppy exterior. Hairy back, manboobs and a ratty, nested mullet is the result. Keep in mind this is ONLY the exterior, inside this slop, i'm sure is a kind, warm, friendly mull who likes to spend quality time aimlessly staggering the streets....or beaches, pondering his life, relationships and world views.

* God I'm optimistic.

Prullpaganda

Proof that Canada has embraced the mullet far more than any other country.

Really look at this pic, it works on mulltiple levels. On one level it's an obvious ad campaign from the Canadian government to recruit people into the 'Correctional' career.(ahhhh mulls guarding mulls, a hunters paradise)

On another level it can be viewed as pro-mullet propaganda. A way of integrating mulls safely back into society, free of prejudices and backlash(Not only is it OK to have a mull but it's actually preferred). We see 3 small pictures of slightly confused coldnecks with insincere smiles on the right...all looking up to one proud, confident, well dressed man with a textbook mull.

* Which ever way you interpret this pic one thing is certain....it's an eerie image.

If you eat shitty fast food every day you can obviously expect to get very fat, very quick. When you have reached a level of contentment in this harmful existence, expect to have far-away vacant looks in your eyes (Kinda like the anchor man on the news) while you eat & in life. In some severe cases, your body actually MUTATES in order to survive. Years of french-fry grease, lard, and gristle can cause red, blotchy puss-filled lesions on the body. You literally become the french fry.

Now, combine all of this with a mullet (or Half-FemSkullet) and it can be fucking frightening. Preparing this update has definitely scared me. If I don't update next week you'll know why. (Just joking. It's gonna take more than a HalfFemSkulletMutantCouple to keep me from updating.)

"Some people tell me I'm cheap, I just laugh....all the way to the bank. Hahaha! While my friends in their dirty thirties are buying overpriced catalog clothes from L.L. Bean & spending $50 for a stupid 'ole haircut, I'm saving buttloads. I've had this shirt since high school and it's still pretty sweet, huh? I also do my hair myself. All I do is take a #3 clipper to the top and sides and voila! My sideburns are kinda tricky, though. I like them cut high and slightly angled. That takes a little extra time but that's O.K. Hey, 'whatever it takes' is what I say. The girls don't seem to mind, that's for sure. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but lets just say...I do just fine in that category."

*Update: After spending 11 years as an apprentice to a motivational speaker, the Dirty Thirty Mull has landed a semi-permanent gig as floor manager at the "Dress for Less" clothing chain, Ross. He is finally TRULY content.

Fantasy Leagulett prides itself on quick computation of batting averages, NFL quarterback ratings, free-throw percentages and NHL save percentages of their favorite stars.

Hobbies: Farting into seat cushions, growing man-boobs, punching people in the face.

Behavior: Manic, dependent entirely upon the ever-present TV screens in front of them.

Marital status of most Fantasy Leagullets: On-the-outs.

Fantasy Leagullets are noted by their ever-expanding love-handles, keeping pencils and pens nearby & tighty-whities--yellow in the front and brown in the back.

Our first good example of a mullet succeeding in society with a professional occupation. Congratulations Doctor Mullet, we salute you.

What kind of doctor, from what country, I have no idea. One might say he's a Christian missionary veterinarian that's been sent to a random third world country. However, I will stay optimistic and guess a free clinic in Detroit.

The Auto Zone Mullet owns and operates cheesy auto accessory stores. You know, the kind that sell "high-tech" windshield wiper blades & huge window stickers that say "Nu Sport" or "Hot Stuff". But even though Sergio enjoys selling these trinkets, his mind stays focused on the bigger picture: High Peformance rims. Not only are rims his passion, it's his bread and butter.

Some people are really into making their cars look 'tight', and the AZM is there for them. He's kinda like a guru. Sometimes people go into these stores not to buy anything or even to look around... but just to "pic his brain". The mullet actually adds crediblity to his guru status. Possible logic: His hair is as unique & cutting edge as his $ 2,000 rims.

*Patrons of these stores rarely have mullets. They are usually young Asian males. Their hair is messy with perfectly articulated bleached spiked tips. It's a facinating subculture. Not really.