In the beginning, there was...

The Infantullet

It definitely raises ethical issues. It's a defenseless child, being shaped and "mullded" into a life knowing nothing other than the mullet. It will only be a few years before this poor child ends up just another another category in Mullet Junky.

*It also must be said that the Infantullet is the rarest, purest form of the mullet. It is rare for a child under the age of 1 to have an entire head of hair, much less a full-blown mullet.

Classic Child Mullet

It's an ideal day for School Pictures...Perfectly pressed shirt, brushed teeth, and a clean, natural mullet.

What a priceless example of the Classic Child Mullet. There's just no better representation possible.

Mulla-nino

For some reason, parents have this innate need for their offspring to be,"more like them". It's clear that Mullatinos cherish these values as well. Just as the mental image of their babies growing up someday, driving El Caminos and livin' la vida loca, the perfect detail of a long, flowing mullet cannot escape their dreams. Too appealing an idea for eager parents to pass by, los ninos begin growing their mullets early.

* Notice the extra long bit at the very bottom of this magnificent plummage. Judging this growth pattern, I believe this Child Mullatino was originally a standard Rat Tail.

Trans Am and Camaro Hotwheels filled the stocking this year. (A foreshadowing, if you will.)

Native American Child Mullet (Runs With Spineless Fish)

Once again, the mullet makes its presence known to all ethnic groups. To the Native Americans, the mullet is revered as sacred, bringing supernatural powers from the the roots of the scalp all the way to the tips. Here we see that "Little Chief" Runs-With-Spineless-Fish has an active role in the various ceramullnies, and is highly respected within the tribe.

* In times of great danger and threat, it has been rumored that the tribe will gather around "Little Chief" Runs-With-Spineless-Fish and rub the mullet vigorously. This act somehow has the power to wear of the enemy along with evil spirits.

BMX Child Mullet

* Amazing length on this mull.

Mullette

Just as the Smurf Village had its very own Smurfette, the mullet world is occasionally blessed with that very special pre-teen femullet, the Mullette. Mullette likes to play dress up...you'll often catch her with some shiny black patent leather tap shoes and a big pink bow in her hair. She also receives the most candy hearts on Valentine's Day that say "Be mine" or "You're sweet" on them.

"Little Mully"

SEE WHAT HAPPENS!?! Sadly, things don't really change. Today, "Little Mully" makes Johnny cry...tommorow he's wanted in 7 states for selling defective m80's, cherry bombs & bottle rockets. Could there be a link between Little Mullies and deviant/criminal types who had mullets in their formative years?

Criminal defense attorneys in Dayton have pondered this question for years. If a daytonohlawyer.com can't answer this pressing question then no one can.?

* "Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be mullies..."